Tonight the Lord reminded me that the calling on my life to serve Him in ministry goes beyond my current job or my small perspective of working with students. My calling is to serve Jesus by bringing others to the cross and to sit at His feet in worship and adoration and praise.
Lately, I’ve lumped my calling with my present situation into one big heap that feels messy and hard and exhausting. I have stopped separating what the Lord clearly spoke into my life thirteen years ago from what I am currently experiencing and let the two merge together. So in the past few months, all the emotions and feelings and exhaustion that can come with being a little burnt out are starting to blur my vision of what it is I was called to do in the first place.
I remember sitting in the auditorium of Louisiana Tech in Lafeyette the summer after seventh grade. I was twelve years old and the Lord spoke to me louder and more clearly than I had ever experienced in my life. As we listened to a song that said “You are the vine, I am the branch, Jesus I’m holding onto you…” I heard the Lord say, Rachael. You are not holding onto me. I have a plan for your life to serve me in ministry. But that life starts now, not when you’re a grown up. I immediately felt a defined calling to ministry and to start living a life that was devoted to the Lord. Over the years the Lord clearly confirmed and reminded me of this calling over and over through various ways, people, sermons, and His Word. It became so clear that I couldn’t deny it, and my life has been a pursuit of that Word ever since.
The song we sang that night from the passage in John 15 has marked my calling to Abide in Jesus – personally and professionally for the past thirteen years. Yet so often I seem to forget… I slip away from the daily presence of Jesus and I let my weary heart focus on circumstance and forget the ultimate calling He spoke into my life.
But my calling is clear. Bring people to the foot of Jesus, and stay there myself. That’s my heart’s desire right now, to come crawling back and stay put, then to bring others with me to His life giving presence.
Jesus, I’m holding onto you.